What is it?
Why do you need it?
And how can we get more of it?
That is what we're going to be talking in today's episode.
So, what is self-care? I'm sure everybody knows that whole phrase of, "In an emergency situation, administer oxygen to yourself before your child or the elderly."
That totally goes against every mama instinct that there is because if my baby is in trouble, they're going to get something before I get something.
I'm always going to come last.
That's the problem right there. We always put ourselves last.
What is self-care?
Self-care could be a lot of things to a lot of different people. It could be an opportunity to sit quietly and have a cup of coffee. It could be to exercise. It could be to go outside and walk, yoga. There are a lot of different things that you could do for self-care. Self-care in and of itself is just something that literally helps you reset.
It restores your soul. It restores your spirit. It takes some of that stress away from me, where you have the opportunity to just focus on yourself. That in and of itself is almost counterintuitive because, as mothers, we let a lot of things pile up on us. We let our home pile up on us. We let our children, our job, our friends, everything that surrounds us really takes priority over what our needs are.
Why do you need it?
You need it because just like within a job, you go, go, go and maybe you have a special project, and you're working 12, 14 hour days, there's only so much of that that you can do before you get burnout. And you get to the point where you're not happy, you're bitter, you become sarcastic.
Am I hitting any of these points?
You're tired, and you just don't think you can take it anymore. Those are almost those baby years, but friends, let me tell you that as they grow older, the experience changes a little bit. They can take care of themselves. They can feed themselves. They can clothe themselves, but you still needed to be there. I've got three teenagers in my life now.
Make Time for Self Care
Today, what I really want to focus on is how you can get more self-care.
I've given you a lot of different ideas on what self-care can mean to you and how you can brainstorm different things that you need that restore your soul.
It could be something just as simple as stopping at a Starbucks.
You're like, "How is that going to restore my soul?"
I love coffee. That's one of my things, and I love Starbucks coffee. When I walk into a Starbucks, it is almost like someone is enveloping me in this hug of warmth, the smell, just being able to take a moment and go get a cup of coffee.
Giving myself permission to take a moment. I often wonder who are these people and what do they do to be sitting at a coffee shop in the middle of the afternoon. But I am there as well, so I am taking in that moment.
It's almost funny that I give you that example because now I take my kids because one of our little treats is those old-fashioned glazed donuts. The kids love those donuts.
That's a special sercy, and if you don't know what a sercy is, a sercy is a treat. That's a special sercy that I share with my kids. They get to share in that experience with me.
When I talk about scheduling self-care,
I don't want you to think about that you're scheduling this three-hour block of time.
How in the world am I going to have time for self-care? These are little moments within your week. They can be longer, they can be shorter, just like taking a trip to Starbucks, that are really just for you and that make you happy.
Another thing that I really enjoy is a vintage. I love vintage appliances. I love tables. I love the furniture. It's just so clean and so streamlined. It's so simple, and it's been around forever, so it's durable. I love vintage, and I love the minimalist approach to vintage.
Because of that, in our home renovation, that is what I'm going for. That is the feeling that I'm going for. I almost have this self-care day where I am enveloped in this retro, and a little bit of modern, so it's an eclectic feel in my home.
But what I want you to do is I want you to ...
- Number one, I want you to print out the printable.
- Number two, I want you to take a look at your calendar. I want you to see where there are moments for you to have self-care.
Is it an opportunity after you drop the kids off at school? Is it an opportunity where maybe you start to utilize a Mommy Morning Out program, or maybe you say,
"You know, I do want to work out,"
and you go to a boot camp, or better yet, you find yoga online.
There's so many things that you can do in terms of workout online now. You don't have to pick up and go to a gym and do all of those things. You can almost do everything right there in your home.
Another thing that I would love for you to think about is taking a walk. Grab the dog and take a walk!
We have a wonderful 30 mile trail that I love.
Even though I'm not fast, probably one of the best gifts that my husband gave me was when he went on Craigslist and he found me a road bike.
A road bike is just designed to be on the road. So he recycled a couple of things out of his shop and turned that money into this road bike.
It is one of my prized possessions because it allows me the opportunity to get on the trail. I ride about 15 miles, pop in a podcast or music, and I breathe.
I sleep better, breath better, and definitely in a better mood around my family because I have taken time for myself on my own terms. I dictated the schedule, it was not dictated to me.
It gives me ... white space.
We're hearing a lot of buzz about white space, and it just gives me an opportunity to just clear my mind. It's not something that I have to do. It's something that I want to do. I can remember that it gives me a good feeling.
So, your good feeling could be sitting down and sewing, sitting down and knitting, crocheting, maybe pulling out your craft supplies, maybe pulling out the silhouette that your husband gave you two years ago that you haven't pulled out of the box. That's a whole another thing that we need to get into.
But I want you to take the opportunity to examine what are those things in your life that just for you ...
I want you to carve out that space that is just for you that brings you joy and restores you.
It gives you that mental break that you need, so that when you come back, and you engage with your children, you're taking care of your children, your home, your life, your work, your friends, everything that is around you, you come in with a much clearer, and a more refreshed perspective.
You're ready to engage because you are in control of that schedule. That schedule is not controlling you.
I know that when my children were itty bitties, my husband and I made it a priority to have a date night once a month.
It was really important, and it still is important to us now, to have a date night. Back then. they were really expensive date nights.
I mean, between movie, dinner, and the babysitter, over $100. I know in times now, it's a small mortgage payment to go to the movies or to go to a show or whatever it is you want to do with your spouse, but it was really important.
That was part of self-care. That was part of our relationship, and continuing that connection as husband and wife, and not mommy-daddy, mommy-daddy, all the time.
Write them down.
Plan out how much time it is going to take.
Next, I want you to take a look at your calendar.
Your goal this week is to schedule one opportunity.
I said opportunity, I didn't say day. I didn't say hours ... opportunity for self-care.
This is to carve out your time.
This is to help restore and give you some white space, some clarity, so when you step back in your role of being Mom, you are prepared and you come at it with a more positive perspective.